Golden Venom

Golden Venom
Starring: Mark Cheng, Chi-Gei Gam
Director: Lam Yee-Hung
Golden Venom is a kung fu fantasy with laser beams shooting out of people that turns into gross out horror as two families feud in non-game show format. It’s pretty uninspired at times, and I’m not sure what the real point of it was, because it isn’t enough of a gross out film to satisfy the gross out fans, but it’s not enough of a good wuxia type film to satisfy those fans, either. It’s a halfway effort that fails everyone. The only reason I watched Golden Venom is because characters were wearing crazy colored wigs and doing magic kung fu moves, but the overall plot was disappointing, the villains are generically evil, and even though I like the goofy effects, the rest of it is boring.

Saying Golden Venom is not fond of women would be an understatement. Every female character except one is killed, many are sexually degraded, and most are just quickly killed and tossed aside. The only real strong female character is Skeleton, and she’s evil and crazy!

The only real cool thing are the villains and how outlandish they are. The almost cartoonish look seems inspired by the Golden Light Puppets, much like many of Pearl Cheung Ling’s films and other Taiwanese fantasy flicks seem to feature goofy wigs more than other countries. Even though the bad guys look like kids fantasy characters, with the nudity and grossness I doubt this is intended to be a kids flick.

The “Golden Venom” from the title is the name of the mouth laser beams. It’s poisonous and comes in different flavors unique to each family’s secret recipe. Each family also has cures, which can’t be made without the help of the family.

Two families are feuding, the noble Kims and the rotten Dragon family. The Dragons teleport into Master Kim’s birthday party and blow up some statues with their laser beams, but they are chased off by a mystery person. We find out much later this guy used to work with Master Kim when they were cops and accidentally blinded him. His daughter Trady becomes a servant in the Kim family.

The Dragons return to their cave and sit Indian style spinning around in circles, plotting their next caper. Skeleton pulls open a tablecloth, underneath it is more black magic stuff, including a skull with blinking electronic light eyes! Evil, now for sale at Spirit Halloween Store! She magics up some Venom God grubs that power their golden venom attacks, but one is missing – and only their son Teh could have taken one. They claim with disappointment that Teh is not that evil, but we see him the next scene ripping clothes off of a sleeping woman and getting ready to rape and kill her! Just imagine how evil he’d be if he was actually evil!

Chih Kim saves a girl named Cherry from rapists, while Chih Kim’s sister is spied on by Teh. He tries to rape her that night, but is chases off by Chih Kim, though Teh manages to shoot some laser effects into Chih Kim’s mouth, because Chih is a moron. Cherry helps the injured Chih Kim.

Both fathers have to meet each other to trade magic herb to cure their sons, but Dragon won’t give his herb until his own son Teh gets better, but he returns too late, Teh is dead! Dragon and some caveman goons attack Master Kim, they take advantage of his poor eyesight and kill him.

Cherry gives Cheh an herb that helps his pain, but she can’t cure the Golden Venom, only Skeleton and Dragon can.

Instead of worrying about peace, Skeleton uses witchcraft and a weaved orb to put a spell on Chih. He starts acting all afraid of his sister, then tries to rape her, but Trady does a Spock neck pinch on him. Cherry knows Chih needs to have sex or he will die, so that’s what she does.

By the next day, his hand is all gnarly and bleeding and he’s Michael Jackson ghostly white (Note: The rough draft of this review is so old I originally wrote that when Michael Jackson was alive!) Scars have grown all over his body, and in a very nice effect one scar is bubbling blood. Later in the film they’ll use real live maggots, if you’re into that sort of thing.

A Taoist priest called into help by the Kim family gets get spat at by effects and runs away. Cherry begs her grandpa to help, he agrees so it’s exorcism time! Grandpa vs Skeleton, fighting via remote out of body battle. They make lots of kung fu stances of their spell-casting powers, but though grandpa defeats Skeleton, Cheh can’t be cured.

Sister Kim is now forced to auction herself off at a brothel to earn money to buy the cure off of Dragon. Even more disturbingly, instead of sleeping with the auction winner herself, she has her servant girl Trady do it instead!

I guess we’re supposed to respect how she’s preserving her boss’s dignity or something, but instead I’m outraged at the abuse of a servant. This continues with more substitutions, but what is weird is the guys are so out of it during these sequences they probably could have used a dog and peanut butter and still gotten paid.

Okay, film, let’s wrap this up and stop with the long creepy brothel scenes that aren’t interesting.

Finally, Dragon shows up laughing and teleporting all the while. He demands a son by Sister Kim or no cure. At this point Trady attacks him, but he kills her pretty easily. Cherry steps in and is also hurt, finally Grandpa returns to fight Dragon. After a pretty long teleporting battle, the two kill each other. But Cherry and Sister were both venom infected in the fight, and there are only two cures, so Sister Kim gives them to Cherry for her and Chih.

A cured Chih and Cherry try to track down Sister Kim, who wandered off to die. Which she does, as first her hand then her ear falls off. Then her eye. Then she explodes into a pile of clothes. Because that’s what happens to women, I guess. So I urge you, the viewers at home, to explode your copies of Golden Venom into piles of clothes. Turnabout is fair play!
Chinese with English Subtitles.

Customers who bought this product also purchased
The Ultimate Vampire
The Ultimate Vampire
The Black Magic With Buddha
The Black Magic With Buddha
Quick Find
Use keywords to find the product you are looking for.
Advanced Search
We Accept
2 x Ninja Dragon
2 x Return To The 36th Chamber
1 x The Splendid Love in Winter
2 x Budo Wing
2 x Shanghai 13
1 x Tales Of Larceny
5 x Crazy Kung Fu Master
2 x Darwaza - 2002
6 x Ghost For Sale
2 x Aces Go Places 3- Our Man From Bond Street
2 x Duel With The Devils
2 x Of Cooks & Kung Fu Poster
3 x The Turkish Exorcist
2 x Army Game Collection
3 x 1000 Mile Escort
5 x Fist of Fury in China
1 x Department S: The Complete Series
4 x Lady Sun
8 x Godfathers Of Fury Poster
1 x Knight Errants
1 x The Anonymous Heroes
1 x Women Prison
5 x Flower Drums of Fung Yang
1 x Astronauts - The Complete Series
1 x The Lone Ninja Warrior
1 x The Deadly Challenger
1 x Spirits of Bruce Li
1 x Kid With A Tattoo
1 x Andy Capp: The Complete Series
1 x Cave Of The Silken Web Poster
2 x I'm Madly In Love
1 x Ironhead / Snake Fist Dynamo
1 x Desmond's-The Complete Series
1 x Lion Vs Lion
1 x Eagle Shooting Heroes
1 x Power Kids
2 x The Master
2 x Old Master Q
1 x Who Killed Mary What's 'Er Name
1 x Friendly Ghost
1 x The Warrior And The Ninja
1 x Ninja Over The Great Wall
3 x Fist of Fury 1991 II
1 x Dak Bangla
1 x Dr. Wai In The Scripture With No Words
1 x When Taekwondo Strikes
1 x Goodbye My Friend
1 x Lady Black Cat
3 x Thunderclap
2 x Bruce and Shaolin Bronzemen
1 x Ninja Hunter -Standard Edition
1 x Bless This House - Series 1-6 - Complete
1 x The Winter
2 x Shaolin Martial Arts
2 x Dragon Family
1 x Eduruleni Manishi
4 x The Killer vs. Ninjas
1 x The Great Escape From Womens Prison
1 x One Armed Boxer
1 x Ninja vs. Shaolin Guards
1 x The Turkish Star Trek
1 x Chase Step by Step
1 x Ammoru
1 x Bollywood Tarzan
2 x Chinese Super Ninja
2 x An Army Of Hundred Thousand Men
6 x Two Champions Of Shaolin
1 x A Fistfull Of Talons
1 x Crystal Fist
1 x Brutal Sorcery
1 x The Seven Immortal Woman
1 x Tarzoon-Shame of the Jungle
1 x Curry and Chips -The Complete Series
2 x His Fatal Ways
1 x Five Super Fighters
1 x 7 Commandments of Kung Fu
1 x Blazing Temple
1 x Return Of The Kung Fu Dragon
2 x Shaolin Monk
1 x 18 Bronzemen Part 2
1 x Attack Of The Joyful Goddess
3 x Ninja Kill
1 x Aces Go Places
1 x Cowboys: The Complete Series
8 x Bruce: Hong Kong Master
2 x An Everlasting Duel
6 x 99 Cycling Swords
1 x The Royal Monk
2 x The Super Ninja Poster
1 x Callan: The Monochrome Years
1 x Crack Shadow Boxers
2 x Blood Brothers
1 x Don't Drink The Water - The Complete Series
1 x The Turkish Wizard of Oz
1 x Cannonball Run
1 x Death Cage
2 x Ninja in the Dragon's Den
1 x 13 Evil Bandits
1 x Rented Lips
1 x The Fate Of Lee Khan
1 x The Warrior Within
1 x Keep It Up Jack
2 x 36 Deadly Styles
3 x Super Power
1 x Ninja Vs. Ninja
1 x Bullet For Hire
2 x Angel Enforcers
1 x Shaolin Challenges Ninja
1 x Shaolin Devil , Shaolin Angel
1 x Golden Sun
1 x Flying Mr B
1 x Mission Kiss And Kill
1 x Ninja In The Killing Field
1 x The Warlord Poster
1 x Shaolin Vs Lama
1 x Police Cadet 84
1 x The Old Master Poster
1 x Strife for Mastery
2 x The Wild Goose On The Wing
1 x Bomb Disposal Officer Baby Bomb
2 x Buddist Fist
1 x Desperate Avenger -Subtitled
3 x New Mr Vampire 2 (The Funny Vampire)
1 x Callan: The Color Years
1 x Secret Of Tai Chi
1 x The Killer
1 x The Woman of Wrath
1 x Jade Fox
1 x Chungking Express
2 x Kung Fu's Hero Poster
1 x Rikisha Kuri
6 x Deadly Melody
4 x Bootsie and Snudge: The Complete Series 1
2 x Spirits Of Bruce Lee
4 x Ninja Killer
8 x Blood Avenger
4 x Taoism Drunkard - Dubbed
1 x Turtle's Progress: The Complete Series
1 x The Great Massacre
1 x Seven Blows of the Dragon
4 x Bruce Takes Dragon Town
2 x Dirty Ho
1 x Deadly Roulette
1 x Fists of the White Lotus
1 x Adbhuthadweepu
2 x 10 Ocean Shores DVD's For $100
2 x Arhats In Fury
3 x Probation Officer: Volume 1
1 x The Likely Lads
5 x Bruce Kung Fu Girls
3 x The Hellfire Angel
1 x Till Death Us Do Part
3 x Tiger of Northland
2 x Shaolin Disciple
5 x Across The River
1 x Five Fighters from Shaolin
1 x Calamity Of Snakes
1 x Cop Killer (The Trap)
1 x 7 Saal Baad
4 x Lethal Panther 2
2 x Tiffany Jones!
2 x Fury of the Heaven
1 x Dark Lady Of Kung Fu
4 x Desperate Avenger
1 x Tommy Cooper
4 x Fighting Of Shaolin Monks
3 x The Ultimate Vampire
5 x 18 Bronzemen 2
2 x Secret Of Shaolin Poles
1 x Two in Clover: The Complete Series
1 x Bollywood Horror 3 In 1
3 x Two Pints of Lager
2 x 18 Shaolin Golden Boy
2 x Deadly Snail vs. Kung Fu Killer
2 x Gun Metal Grey
3 x 2 Great Cavaliers
1 x Cheating in Panorama
4 x Genghis Khan
6 x Golden Rose
1 x Black Bull and White Snake
2 x Blood Child
1 x He Has Nothing But Kung Fu
3 x Iron Monkey - Old Version
1 x The Chinese Boxer
1 x Dirty Kung Fu
1 x 36 Strikes Of Kung Fu
1 x Trollied: Complete Series 1 - 6
3 x Ninja Hunter - Widescreen
3 x Beware Of Pickpockets
4 x Blade Of Fury
3 x Ninja Checkmate
3 x A Friend From Inner Space Poster
3 x Daggers 8
3 x The Last of the Secret Agents?
5 x All's Well, Ends Well
3 x A Girl Called Tigress
3 x Furious Slaughter
4 x Thunder Kick
3 x Calamity Of Snakes Poster
3 x Ninja Terminator
3 x The Tomorrow People
3 x Aakhri Sangram
3 x Dynamite Shaolin Heroes
2 x Sun Dragon AKA: A Hard Way To Die
1 x Two Crippled Heroes
1 x The Cavalier
1 x The Dustbin Men
1 x Brittas Empire, Complete Series
1 x A.J. Wentworth, B.A.: The Complete Series
1 x Kung Fu Kids (Young Dragons)
1 x Shelley: The Complete Series 7 - 10
1 x Wackers (The): The Complete Series
1 x Aces Go Places 4
1 x Crocodile
1 x Stoner - English Dubbed
1 x The Champion
1 x Ten Tigers of Shaolin
1 x Kung Fu Hellcats
6 x Fire Dragon
2 x One Arm Against Nine Killers
2 x Errant Love
1 x New One Armed Swordsman
1 x Three Kingdom RPG
1 x Bees Saal Baad
1 x Bruce Lee In New Guinea
1 x Up The Elephant And Round The Castle - Series 1-3
1 x Story In Temple Red Lily
1 x Yus, My Dear - The Complete Series
2 x Sex With A Smile
2 x Strange Tales of Liaozhai
2 x You Rang, M'Lord?: Series 1-4
6 x The Noble Ninja
2 x Shaolin Drunk Fighter
2 x CI5: The New Professionals: The Complete Series
3 x 13 Styles Strike
2 x Ghosts Love
2 x Bandits Prostitutes & Silver
2 x Dead Curse
2 x Big Boss of Shanghai
2 x Golden Venom
2 x Young Hero Of Shaolin
1 x Dangerous Person
1 x You're Only Young Twice: The Complete Series
1 x The 72 Desperate Rebels
1 x Born Rich
1 x Return to Action
2 x Kung Fu Executioner
1 x Zoo Gang (The): The Complete Series
1 x Tiger Jungle
1 x Balak aur Janwar
1 x Conspiracy Of Theives
1 x Heroes of Shaolin
2 x The 36th Chamber of Shaolin
1 x Bruce Lee's Ways Of Kung Fu
1 x An Orphan's Tragedy
1 x Daughter of Darkness
1 x All About Ah-Long
2 x New Scotland Yard: The Complete Series 2
5 x Alan & Eric: Between Hello and Goodbye
1 x Seven to One
1 x Kung Fu Kids 2 (Young Dragons)
1 x The Kung Fu Kid
4 x Sweet Gang
4 x George And the Dragon
4 x The Buddha Assassinator
4 x The Prodigal Son
4 x With Or Without You
4 x Queen Boxer
1 x Possession of Ghost
2 x Bloody Brotherhood
1 x Stooges In Hong Kong
1 x The Wolf Girl
1 x Victims of the Assassin
1 x Little Hero
1 x Magic Of Spell
1 x Night Of The Assassin
Manufacturer Info
Other products
Share Product
Share via E-Mail
Share on Facebook Share on Twitter